excerpt from a book i’ll never write #53

  1. If you can change one person’s life for the better you will have made all the difference in the world, for that one person will go on to change another life, and another, and another, and that is all that matters.
  2. Please be kind. Being kind takes just a second: holding the door for someone, complimenting his or her outfit or smile. There ae so many ways to be kind. Cruelty gains you nothing. Having a bad day does not justify you being an ass.
  3. Respect goes a long way, also. Just because there might be disagreements does not give you reason to lack respect. People have opinons and ideas that may differ from yours. There are so many benefits for being respectful. Just don’t be an ass. 
  4. Be a decent human being. No one wants to be near someone who does not care for others. 
  5. Drink lots of water. Your headaches will go away and your skin will clear up. You will wake up eith more ease and your body will thank you for it.
  6. Study for your classes and exams. School is valuable, whether you like ito r not, and if you go to college than each class could be hundreds of dollars. Don’t throw the money aeay because you’re a pretentious asshole. You’ll learn something, and knowledge is beautiful. 
  7. Save some time for yourself. “Me time” is wonderful, and you need to relax. It’s okay if you don’t go out this weekend; sometimes your health is more important than  night you might not even remember anyway. 
  8. Take a shower. Wash your sheets. Brush your teeth and hair. Put on deodorant. Hygiene is key to a healthy life, and no one wants to smell you anyway. 
  9. Manage your time. Break up your day into chunks and play a game of Tetris with it. Make sure you leave time for sleep. Procrastination leads to nothing but stress and breakouts. 
  10. Live YOUR life. You need to face the reality that no one can live your life but yourself, and sometimes being a doctor or lawyer isn’t for you. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be whatever you want.
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excerpt from a book i’ll never write #52

Silence enclosed the coffee shop like a blanket muffling the sounds of the mundane. It has been years since they have last talked and the silence should feel awkward, but it is comforting instead; it reminds them both of what they used to have. It’s a fact that those who talk don’t know, and those know don’t talk; both of them knew perfectly well. The two coffees sitting between them cultivated steam that rose in spirals, higher and higher, combining into one column, just as they had been one so long ago. Her eyes followed the spiral to the ceiling.

He chuckled his little laugh; more like a larger-than-normal puff of air. The corners of his lips twitched in the direction of the coffee steam.

“What?” She encouraged, and her dagger blue eyes snapped back to his change in composure.

“It’s nothing, forget it.”

“Please, tell me,” she urged.

“Where did the time go? Why have you grown so strong and I haven’t changed a bit? It’s funny, you know.”

“What’s funny?”

“Come on, hun, you don’t remember what you said? You told me that I’d be making the largest mistake of my life, and well, when people ask me ‘If you lost all of your memories except for one, what would it be?’ I can never answer truthfully. Because God damn it, its you. My favorite color is still your favorite color and my favorite song is still the one you sang at the top of your lungs, head through the sun roof, on New Years Eve so many years ago. And I can’t answer truthfully because they would never understand. But fuck, you were right.”

She put her head in her hands and shook her hair in front of her eyes, “Why are you saying this?”

“Because you were the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and you probably have no clue; you’re so wrapped up in the notion that you’re worthless that you have no idea what you mean to people, love, and to me, you’re still the world.”

She pulled her coat over her shoulders and nearly tripped over her chair as she stumbled out of the quaint enclosure. He quickly threw four singles on the table before following her out the door into the autumnal air. He grabbed her wrist and for a moment, just a split second, she melted at the memory of his touch. He spun her around and grabbed both sides of her face so her eyes had no where to look other than at his.

His breath left small clouds of condensation against the cold air, “Don’t run away from me like I ran away from you; I only asked you here to tell you that you are more than what other people’s actions might suggest. You are more than your job, and you are more than what I treated you. You never have to talk to me again, but know that you are so much more.”

Her hands met his that were planted against her face and she kissed him. She whispered, “I still dream about your eyes and how they lost their shine when you told me you were done; please tell me the shine will never leave again.”

“My eyes only shine because you’re reflected in them, and you are more brilliant than all the stars in the sky.” They smiled, and walked away, but this time, they walked hand-in-hand, in the same direction.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #46

Sometimes people tell us that things are okay even if they don't really mean it but when you whisper it in my ear between kisses after everyone else leaves for the night I somehow believe you might be on to something.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #37

Oh, how I miss you like the stars miss the sky in the morning light; how I love you like the ocean loves the shoreline, kissing it softly before each time it is sent away. Your eyes shine like diamonds, beckoning to be seen by everyone. Your laugh is Christmas morning, joy shared by the old and young, and your touch is lightning.

But you came crashing down like thunder. Each strike after the next, I never knew someone so strong could fall so fast. My nights are consumed with thoughts of you. I wonder if we stare at the same moon. I wonder if we wish together, each night at 11:11. I wonder if you even remember the touch of my lips on yours, so soft. I spent so much time with you loving me that I didn’t even know how to love myself. My heart still aches for you but I know it shouldn’t. Please come back, and bring the stars and the ocean and the diamonds. Please bring back the lightning – I promise I can deal with your weather.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #34

We must have one love, one great love; it gives us an excuse for all the moments we are filled with despair.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #29

The only thing I know for sure is that the day ends, and the stars will come out and darkness is temporary. But don’t the lights in the sky look so beautiful?

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #28

It was only one night, but his hands running down her back and his lips on her neck seem to be a broken record in her head. It’s not that she misses his smell or the spark of his skin on hers; she craves touch. Any touch. She craves the touch of his arm on hers or their fingers laced. She misses the touch of his breath on her ear as he whispers sweet nothings. But a “he” is just that, and any he will do, and it’s one thing to be alone but another to be lonely. It’s 1:05 in the morning and she’s drunk but he’s the only one on her mind. And him, and him too. Her head spins and her ears are ringing with the words she should have screamed aloud a long time ago, but the worst thing about falling to pieces is that humans do it so quietly. No one hears her heart crack or the soft patter of dripping blood on new, white sheets, and no one can hear her mismatched breaths as she tries to find someone a little better than him. She’s lying in her bed, in her house, and all she wants to do is go home.