excerpt from a book i’ll never write #48

"Please, don't worry about hurting me
I have no feelings anyway,"
I said to you with sincerity
As I slid onto the highway.

I told you my heart would never break,
But I slowly hear it shatter.
It turns out that I truly feel an ache
While my tears go pitter-patter.

You asked what makes my heart soar,
And I kissed you in reply.
But to you I only was a bore,
And with that, you said goodbye.

It was her in your arms you longed for.
You might have thought it were clever.
I guess to you we never belonged.
I really hoped we would end up together.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #46

Sometimes people tell us that things are okay even if they don't really mean it but when you whisper it in my ear between kisses after everyone else leaves for the night I somehow believe you might be on to something.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #44

When I was 11 I had a soccer coach who made us run in circles and when we got dizzy he told us to run the other direction to undo the spinning. Imagine the beauty of living in a world where we could just run the other direction every time the world spun in circles; imagine how simple everything would be if we could undo the shit that made us spin in the first place.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #40

I do not want to be human. I want to be myself, and they expect me to be a lion to chase you to the ends of the world. I will not deny that I have lion in me, for I am made of the same elements as they are, but I have parts of myself that I do not understand; and the rest is rust and stardust.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #37

Oh, how I miss you like the stars miss the sky in the morning light; how I love you like the ocean loves the shoreline, kissing it softly before each time it is sent away. Your eyes shine like diamonds, beckoning to be seen by everyone. Your laugh is Christmas morning, joy shared by the old and young, and your touch is lightning.

But you came crashing down like thunder. Each strike after the next, I never knew someone so strong could fall so fast. My nights are consumed with thoughts of you. I wonder if we stare at the same moon. I wonder if we wish together, each night at 11:11. I wonder if you even remember the touch of my lips on yours, so soft. I spent so much time with you loving me that I didn’t even know how to love myself. My heart still aches for you but I know it shouldn’t. Please come back, and bring the stars and the ocean and the diamonds. Please bring back the lightning – I promise I can deal with your weather.

excerpt from a book i’ll never write #36

Do you ever realize how badly you’re going to miss a moment while you’re living it? Like wow, these are good days. I am here and I am happy and I feel alive, and I’m scared I’m never going to feel alive again.