I burn my mouth and lungs with puffs of nicotine and I realized it feels too good to burn myself alive because darling, we were a perfect match but matches were meant to burn.
People are not rain or snow or autumn leaves. They are not beautiful when they fall. People are more of a hurricane, with tsunami waves coming in all directions; tears so powerful that they drag you down to the dirty depths and you’re scared no one can find you again. Trapped under the misty light that comes through six feet of water over your head, you wonder if this is what it’s like to die.
But no, you are terrified. And death is not something to be afraid of.
I hope we all find a way to calm down someday, taking the swirling winds of the hurricane to something of a subtle drizzle.
As I lay awake I think of you, and nothing but you. I think of how your lips touch mine, and I think of the way you are oh, so gentle, and how your touch makes it feel as if lightning is crawling under my skin. You make me feel like I am the most amazing person in so many ways it would take centuries to name them all, even though I’m not. Joy. You are joy, and you are calm. You calm me in ways no one has been able to achieve, and as I think of you, I think of nothing but you. I think of the way you laugh too hard at things that aren’t all that funny, or how your eyes get all crinkly in the corners and how your alluring smile lights up the entire room. I think of your drunk Saturday night words whispering in my ear, and I think about how you have come so far. I think about how at one point in my life, I never knew the significance of your name being spoken aloud. I never knew that one day, a single person could mean so much to me. I never knew that one day we would be like this. I could never have imagined something as perfect as us. I think of the way you walk and how the distance between each step is approximately 3 feet closer to your final destination, and how your final destination is where I wish to be. I think of how one starry night, you will lie awake, and maybe think of me too; we could be thinkers together.