Somewhere in the midst of all of this suffering and pain I still love you.
"Please, don't worry about hurting me
I have no feelings anyway,"
I said to you with sincerity
As I slid onto the highway.
I told you my heart would never break,
But I slowly hear it shatter.
It turns out that I truly feel an ache
While my tears go pitter-patter.
You asked what makes my heart soar,
And I kissed you in reply.
But to you I only was a bore,
And with that, you said goodbye.
It was her in your arms you longed for.
You might have thought it were clever.
I guess to you we never belonged.
I really hoped we would end up together.
If I asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take you to say you love yourself? I think it’s a little fucked up, right? If I asked you to swallow this bottle of pills, how many would it take before you stopped? I think that’s a little fucked up, too.
What’s more lethal, a gun or a thought?
Sometimes people tell us that things are okay even if they don't really mean it but when you whisper it in my ear between kisses after everyone else leaves for the night I somehow believe you might be on to something.
The beer bottle rolled from one end of the table to the next, leaving a trail of carbonated amber leftovers where it stopped. Smoke tumbled from the glass ashtray next to the glass bottle, and her heart silently shattered like glass, too.
She whispered through tears over the roaring TV and his labored breaths, “come closer.” The air moving in his lungs was tainted with that God-awful acrid smell.
“Do you like me?” His question seemed irrelevant, but when she looked into his eyes she saw something brutally honest. She saw a flash of fear; something he never would have let be seen if he were sober.
“Don’t be an idiot and just come closer.” His hand fell on her head and he kissed her cheek and wondered who in God’s name could have made her heart hurt so damn much.
When I was 11 I had a soccer coach who made us run in circles and when we got dizzy he told us to run the other direction to undo the spinning. Imagine the beauty of living in a world where we could just run the other direction every time the world spun in circles; imagine how simple everything would be if we could undo the shit that made us spin in the first place.
Your lips and touch are fertile, for they have grown me so kind that flowers grow inside my lungs, and God I can’t breathe.